The House of Munch

Back when I was younger, I walked to school through 10 foot of snow, in -30 degrees Celsius, 10 miles each day (that is 100 kms in your puny metric system). And back. 390 days a year.

When I was younger, there were actually 390 days in a year. That’s 2 extra days of ‘older days’ a month. Being tired had a completely different meaning too.

Back in the days, it used to rain that much, that water was aplenty. That’s exactly why there are dikes. Mind the revisionists who’ll tell you that dikes are there to protect against the seas. They’re flat-out wrong: they’re there to contain the water from flowing back into the sea!

When I was a kid, a 1.5 Volt battery kept its charge for 16 days. There’s an ingenious formula to calculate those number of days, and naturally, I will not reveal anything about that formula. You wouldn’t even comprehend.

Daylight Savings Time was invented by the economic institutions in the world. Think about it again: the more light, the more often people go to banks. I have no statistical data to back me up, but you have to believe me on this.

The Internet was invented by a secret religious society. The members of this society all wear glasses and have beards. Their average age is 52, which is exactly the number that represents the number of weeks in a ‘normal’ year (the one that has 365/366 days, not the one that has 390 days). They also believe in Booleans, which is just another way of saying ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Or I mean, either yes or no. Or neither.

1. Bonus link: Boolean Algebra